Do you know someone who pretends? And who requires ‘approval’ from others?
I’m not talking dress ups.
More of the ‘trying to make out they are someone they aren’t?’ type.
To be honest, I’ve never, personally, really understood that. I’m more of a ‘what you see is a what you get kind of person’.
Masking one’s true personality is easily done on social media – you just post what you want people to see and there you have it – an identity that may or may not be a true reflection of the person. That identity though, is often cultivated to seek external reward from the people they are trying to impress. Unfortunately that reward on social media is short lived, people move very quickly to their next ‘like’.
Will the number of likes, shares and comments help you live a full meaningful life? And are we in control of these?
We all know the answer to both questions….(No)
The truth is that we can only truly control what we think of ourselves – we need our own internal ways in which we are able to self-validate.
Psychology Today (2014) tells us that ‘Self-validation is accepting your own internal experience, your thoughts and feelings.’ Which means recognising and managing your own thoughts. Given a chance, I’m always talking about mindfulness – it fits in really well here and is a great place to start with self-validation.
As with mindfulness, self-validation is something we require practice at.
Will you practice?
Is it a far better an alternative that relying on the external validation from social media? (I think yes.)