No, they aren’t selfish!

Conflict can be so tough.  Any skills we can learn to help us deal with it would be beneficial, right?

The blog today is going to be talking about ‘I’ statements – as touched on the Facebook live earlier in the week – check out http://www.facebook.com/wellnessassist if you didn’t see it.

Firstly, we probably need to get this out of the way – ‘I’ statements aren’t selfish!  In fact, they are a really effective way to respectfully and effectively communication feelings.

They are though, just one way of getting your point across.  There are obviously others but I like these because they are simple but yet so powerful.

Just the power of recognising and labelling feelings is phenomenal.  If we can teach this to children and adolescents – we can help make sense of situations that may have previously perplexed them!  I know myself, when I can be specific about my own feelings, it is so much easier to work through them.  Ok, and maybe I’m a pros and cons list kind of girl – useful when you have time, but not so useful when you need to respond quickly!

I think one of their ‘features’, if you like, is that they are focused on solutions – and if you have ever been part of a really effective team, solutions are always a way to move forward!  Interestingly, most people often know what they want to happen when there is conflict – by using ‘I’ statements as a model just allows us to communication what we want.

Let me give you an example:

Your friend Robyn always cancels plans at the last minute.  The final straw was that she stood you up, leaving you standing outside a fancy restaurant.  You could choose to use an I statement…something like this…

Robyn, I feel like I’m not a priority when you keep cancelling plans.  It makes me feel so rejected!  Can you please not commit to plans unless you are sure you can make it and then we can keep having great times together.

Even typing that felt awkward!!  But you get the idea, simple but to the point and clearly using your own words.  It does take practice, but man, its liberating when you can get it sorted!

Choosing to actively deal with conflict and communicate using ‘I’ statements gives us confidence and I look forward to hearing how they go for you!  Feel free to connect to let me know how you find them!

 

How personalised is your health information?

Here we are, working on this ‘project’ of you and your family’s health and subsequent marvellous life!!  Projects need research – which poses the question – where do you find your health information?

We live in a time when we have access to SO much information – but yet, this doesn’t always make our decisions easier!  How do we know it is reliable and a ‘good’ source?

It’s actually not easy sorting fact from fiction on the internet sometimes!  What I do know and want to share with those who choose a marvellous life is, that we need to be aware that specifically when in comes to health information – Google doesn’t have all the answers.  

Sure, some of your research might be done on the internet, but it can’t be your only source of information gathering.

I hear you say – where then, can I get information –  here’s just one suggestion (by no means the only place you can get good health information, but albeit, a great place to start your research):

Australian Health Practitioner Health Regulation Agency (AHPRA) health professionals have spent years learning and perfecting their profession – sounds ideal, doesn’t it?

Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency

Find more details at http://www.ahpra.gov.au (note – it has a gov in the address – always a good sign when looking for credible health information)

As previously mentioned, the term health professional gets thrown around a lot these days – often by people who haven’t had as much training as AHPRA Health Professionals. Is your trusted health professional’s profession on the list above?

I absolutely acknowledge that sometimes reading articles on the internet can make us feel better about certain conditions, but it can also have the opposite effect.  The main point is that is generic information and not personalised to you.  Therefore, the odds of it being 100% accurate for you every time are very slim to nil.  Whereas, for example, when you see a health professional from the list above, they get so much more information from you, putting them best placed to form their diagnosis and plan of care accordingly.  Does that make sense?

Back to the concept of a research process – remember when you teacher asked you to compare and contrast at school?  That is the perfect set up for assessing health information too – put it all together (maybe not with highlighters or the need for cutting and pasting!) however you see fit, and then you are well placed to make an informed decision.

The term ‘informed decision’ is one that is commonly used in health care – informed refers to knowing ALL the facts about the particularly issue and being able to make the best decision based on those facts.

And if we are to truly and intentionally choose our marvellous life, we need to be making the best decisions that we possibly can!