No, they aren’t selfish!

Conflict can be so tough.  Any skills we can learn to help us deal with it would be beneficial, right?

The blog today is going to be talking about ‘I’ statements – as touched on the Facebook live earlier in the week – check out http://www.facebook.com/wellnessassist if you didn’t see it.

Firstly, we probably need to get this out of the way – ‘I’ statements aren’t selfish!  In fact, they are a really effective way to respectfully and effectively communication feelings.

They are though, just one way of getting your point across.  There are obviously others but I like these because they are simple but yet so powerful.

Just the power of recognising and labelling feelings is phenomenal.  If we can teach this to children and adolescents – we can help make sense of situations that may have previously perplexed them!  I know myself, when I can be specific about my own feelings, it is so much easier to work through them.  Ok, and maybe I’m a pros and cons list kind of girl – useful when you have time, but not so useful when you need to respond quickly!

I think one of their ‘features’, if you like, is that they are focused on solutions – and if you have ever been part of a really effective team, solutions are always a way to move forward!  Interestingly, most people often know what they want to happen when there is conflict – by using ‘I’ statements as a model just allows us to communication what we want.

Let me give you an example:

Your friend Robyn always cancels plans at the last minute.  The final straw was that she stood you up, leaving you standing outside a fancy restaurant.  You could choose to use an I statement…something like this…

Robyn, I feel like I’m not a priority when you keep cancelling plans.  It makes me feel so rejected!  Can you please not commit to plans unless you are sure you can make it and then we can keep having great times together.

Even typing that felt awkward!!  But you get the idea, simple but to the point and clearly using your own words.  It does take practice, but man, its liberating when you can get it sorted!

Choosing to actively deal with conflict and communicate using ‘I’ statements gives us confidence and I look forward to hearing how they go for you!  Feel free to connect to let me know how you find them!

 

Nobody wants a broken down car….

When I was younger, I remember my Mum saying ‘you don’t have much if you don’t have your health.’  I’ve been blessed with a very wise Mum (in that instance and countless others too).  It may shock her to hear me say, she was right – but she was, and still is.  Though, even with that in mind, we often take our health for granted, don’t we, until something goes wrong?  Have you done that?

If we take some time to look after it (and ‘service it’, like I’m sure you do for your car) you will most certainly not regret it.  Its really up to us as individuals to ‘perform the preventative maintenance’ on ourselves!  I’m not into cars at all – that analogy just came to me as I was typing – seems to fit well though, even if I say so myself!

What preventative maintenance I’m talking about?  Its just simply about taking responsibility for your health and managing it accordingly.  The thing is, making not so great health choices might not noticeably affect you in the short term.  But if you keep choosing unhealthy options, it will catch up with you in the longer term.  Just saying.

You see, the human body is quite amazing and extremely efficient.  It is capable of compensating for a long time (depending on the specific function), but when it stops working the way it should, only then, do individuals start to consider seeking health care, see the second paragraph for a better plan!

The other really important thing you can do, which only takes a few conversations with your family – is find out about your family’s health history.  Why is this even important?  It is especially important when it comes to knowing your risk for the lifestyle diseases.

The term ‘lifestyle diseases’ refers to conditions which are contributed to by such factors as poor nutritional intakes and physical inactivity – both frighteningly common in first world countries.   They include conditions as heart disease, stroke and Type 2 Diabetes.  There are some predisposing factors we can’t do anything about (like increasing age, family history/genetics and even gender in some cases to name a few) and then there is the factors we can alter like (inadequate nutritious food intake, amount of physical activity, alcohol intake and tobacco use).  So, knowing your risk factors and choosing to manage them is crucial to providing ‘preventative maintenance’ and taking responsibility for your health!

That’s right, we are in control (behind the wheel) of our own health.  Do you take your health for granted (cruise control)?  If not, what have you done to take control (take the steering wheel) of your health lately?